some things i loved this year
books
songs
- in my head - stray kids
- matilda - harry styles
- 2011 - 5SOS
- 흰수염고래 - YB, covered by han jisung
- goodbye - kim seungmin
shows
- our unwritten seoul [미지의 서울]
- when life gives you tangerines [폭싹 속았수다]
- family by choice [조립식 가족]
- the price of confession [자백의 대가]
poems
Cracked
by Nell Aurelia
I’m cracked. Completely.
I fell into the furnace long enough
To decide to find my own fire and light,
And when I went all to pieces
Some surrendered to the heat
And those that were left were me
But purer: there is something of a diamond
Rushing through my core,
A full madness of restructuring.
There is no ruin here.
Unless that is your fearful name for transformation,
Which I can understand,
But when you fall flying into your own,
You’ll understand:
Falling apart is full of its own reward,
However much it feels like dying, like failure
Full of the unbearable sensitivity
Of committing to this human experience.
Go deep in this fire.
There’s a point where all explodes and converges,
And you find you are yourself,
Only stronger, clearer, finer.
The messiest refinement of all: Choosing to live well.
Well? Fully.
Alive to pain, to suffering, to inequality,
To joy, to birth, to creation, to love – To all,
Because when you get right down in it
Acknowledging pain only opens you more to joy.
The brilliant imperfections of love, of loving,
Can only make the world shine brighter;
It’s fear that will give you half a life and convince you
You never wanted the other half anyway.