am i just making excuses or does life sometimes get in the way?
this is a theme i've been running into quite a few times in the past year or so. i've been trying to make efforts to improve the quality of my life by:
- going out more, either touching grass or attending community events
- meeting new people (to try to make new friends)
- sleeping (a bit) earlier
- moving my body more
et cetera et cetera. you get the gist, right.
but sometimes it feels like life gets in the way almost every time.
a few months ago i promised myself i'd go to a couple of book clubs so i can push myself to a) read more, b) practice my public speaking, c) go out more, and d) meet new people. i've RSVPed, added them to my calendar, read the books i wanted to bring. all prepared and ready to go.
then i got sick.
another time, a family member got sick. or a riot happened that i felt unsafe to go out by myself.
maybe it's just a coincidence, maybe i'm reading too much into it, but this has happened at least two or three times during the past year or so.
another instance is when i signed up to a gym nearby and promised myself i'd go at least three times a week. i went once, then a close family member got sick, and i couldn't fulfill the promise i had made to myself.
i've also had to abandon my "sleeping earlier" attempts because work got busy or something else came up.
point is, it becomes harder and harder for me to distinguish whether i'm just making excuses that lets me abandon my efforts, or if i just got unlucky, or that life gets in the way for everyone sometimes.
for now, the only thing i'm trying to do every time something like this happens is just to accept that things won't always go the way i want them to go, and what matters more is whether i'm able to overcome the frustration and pick it back up right away. that i don't just give up and stop trying. because that's where it ends, i think—when i no longer want to try again.